Wake Up Call

February 19, 2011 § Leave a comment

You’re getting tired of meeting people I’ve fucked everywhere we go, having drinks with them, hearing them talk to each other and you like we’re all pals harharhar, ain’t it great and progressive?. You’re getting tired of my foul mouth and dark moods. You’re getting tired of getting shoved aside mentally every time you’re mid sentence and I check my email. You’re getting tired of my drinking.

You’re getting tired of my stories, that always start with “when I was little” and end with tragic events, baton twirling at garbage dumps, farm houses full of bees, muddy lace dresses, dogs chasing puppies, and dirty trailers in the woods. You’re getting tired of the way I yell at service people on the phone, alluvuh sudden sounding like I grew up in Brooklyn with a baseball bat for a brain. You’re getting tired of my eyes filling up with tears every time a reporter talks about some kid getting blown up in another country; the way a thing like that will send me to bed for a day over the pointlessness, when what’s pointless is to lay and cry over it.

You’re getting tired of how boring I am when I talk about how much everyone loves me. You’re getting tired of how much everyone loves me. My jokes, you’re tired of those, too. You’re getting tired of how goddam much time I spend talking about how goddam hard I work, when if I worked as much as I talked about working, I could get everything done a lot quicker. You’re getting tired of knowing that I’m about to do the wrong thing, then come crying later and talking about how much I learned.

You’re getting tired of me, and your brain feels restless with it, like a leg that won’t stop shaking, aching in the too early for pancakes hours of the morning.

I’ve drawn you a bath, though, and I have a towel warming in the dryer. I baked you banana bread while you slept, so the smell would fill my house, making it’s way to you in my feathery bed, and soon I’ll be bringing you an Americana, measured to your liking. Maybe that will wake you up. If it doesn’t, that’s okay. We can always go to bed early tonight.


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