Valley Girl, Interrupted

February 21, 2011 § Leave a comment

The first time I slept at your place you didn’t have sheets on the bed. I was on my period, and I laid awake that night after we fucked listening to your shower dripping; feeling my thighs stick together with cum and blood, and wondering where in the room you’d tossed the tampon you’d pulled out. (not to put it back in, just to throw it out) I never found that tampon, but the next night I bought you sheets.

There’s no traffic getting back into the San Fernando Valley on weekday mornings. The busiest part of that drive is before I hit the 101, each walk light pouring people thick like cold syrup across the streets and on to their jobs. There’s always at least one man in a wheel chair, pushing himself backwards with his feet like he’s on one of those yellow scooters from second grade gym class. Women walk past with sunglasses swallowing their heads and boots so tall they deserve a theme song. The women, not the boots. Something jaunty about being on top of stuff.

At that time of the morning you’re headed to work just like the rest of them. Nobody’s really stopping to grab the paper, because they get their news online, on NPR, on Comedy Central. Nobody’s really meaning what they’re yelling at each other in their cars. We’re all just going to the valley or coming from the valley and doing the shit we always do or doing some shit we never do and status updating the world in both cases.

The sheets are still on your bed, and I offered to wash them, tried to explain how nice it feels to lay on a fresh, clean bed. Sometimes I sit in your dirty bathroom and wonder what the fuck I’m doing this time. I don’t even feel like you like me most of the time. You’ve got no ambition, we have nothing in common, and the only things you do with any passion are fuck me and watch Nick Cave videos on YouTube. Then I crawl into your bed, new, improved, with sheets, an when we sleep you hold onto me with both arms, kissing my face every time I wake up, and I swear I’ve never felt so fucking safe in all my life.


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