Did You Know You Can Kill Yourself With Helium?

March 4, 2011 § Leave a comment


Yeah, that’s just one of the things I was reading on the internet today. I looked it up on purpose.

Man, I’m starving, but the Satanist doesn’t keep any goddam food at his place. I’m not sure what I was expecting. I’ve never really seen him eat. If I were a Satanist I’d eat bloody stacks of beef, like, all the time. I’d make it my thing. This morning he was singing George Michael songs in the shower, too. I wonder if that’s some part of the daily worship.

I’m thinking about getting some magnet shit done to my head. It’s been a few years since the ECT, and after the last time, I was pretty turned off of the stuff. The way it works is that they put you out cold and they electrocute you into having a seizure. This is supposed to change the salts in your brain in a way that makes you happy. Or at least less sad.

You said I need to check in to some rehab here with horse rides and field trips and 12 step programs, but the one you told me about is way out of my price range. Besides, it would be more fun if we just got dolled up and went to that karaoke bar where they record you and give you the video. The guy there always makes YouTube jokes. He’s old.

Anyway, I found this other place that does some shit where they put magnets on your head. Sounds a lot less invasive than the shock stuff, and you get to wear a thing that looks like a jock strap on your head to hold the magnets in place. My heads a shitfest right now, so I’m up for anything so long as it doesn’t require that I accept any deities or sign up for any e-newsletters.

Willing to bet these would hold a decent sized magnet.

Then again, seems we’d be able to rig something like that ourselves. We’ll get a pair of those adorable little underwear you’ve got, throw them over my head, and stick some of those supermagnets from novelty catalogues inside. If it looks odd, I’ll just put a hat over top. Sounds like I know what I’m doing tonight. You in, DT, or are you busy not getting fucked?

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