Hey, Date Rapists! There’s A Groupon for You

February 21, 2012 § Leave a comment


Have you ever been out on a date, buying round after round, and been absolutely certain that your date was in that sweet drunken spot of not being able to remember if she said yes or no? Have you gotten her all the way back to your shitty apartment, onto your mattress on the floor, only to realize that she’s nowhere near drunk enough not to stop you from giving her the raw dog and cream pie?

Don’t let her pre-drink carb fest ruin your fun. Now, you can afford-ably carry this Personal Breathylizer so you can know for certain when she’s reach the important intersection of wasted and black out.

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